“Never measure your generosity by what you give but rather by what you have left.”
Fulton Sheen
Hey, hey, heyyy
Fresh off the press today, a witness to how God truly never fails…
My Father!
Sometimes I forget that he has lived a great many years and therefore has a great deal of wisdom, so I was low-key shocked with how much I learned throughout this interview. I was brainstorming what my dad had good advice and experience in, and the first thing that came to mind was generosity. He is one of the most generous people I know, and I admire him a lot for this.
Ever since I was a small child, he would take me and my siblings with him as he served. Whether it was helping old ladies with their technology issues, cleaning up after church events, or offering to babysit for a couple who could really use a night off, I was there.
What I didn’t always see was the financial side of things and my dad’s journey to learning to put finances into God’s hands. I hope this inspires you to take another step in the direction of generosity, particularly in your finances!
What was your experience with tithing growing up?
Growing up, money was tight in our household, I remember getting free milk and cheese from WIC, Mom and Dad both worked, and mom worked two jobs many years. Bills were a struggle to pay at times and things like doctor’s bills sometimes got paid through payment plans.
Despite this, giving was still important. We didn’t discuss it much, but I knew when the collection basket came there was an expectation to put something in. No matter how little we had, there was always a gratefulness for what we did have and a responsibility to support our parish. I think mom and dad always put in $20.
After I graduated from college and got my first job, my view on tithing unfortunately was “it’s my money to give away”, rather than “I am simply a steward of God’s money.” I had heard the idea of giving ten percent, but did not think a lot about it. I worked hard for my money and had a lot of aspirations in life and when I did the math ten percent was a lot of money to give away!
When was the first time you seriously thought about tithing and what was that like?
The first real conversation about tithing happened after I got married. Laura wanted to give more since we both had real jobs now. I argued that we give enough of our hard-earned money away as it is and avoided a more serious conversation. Of course, as it always does, my conscience (aka the Holy Spirit) started whispering. Over time I realized she was right, and we resumed the conversation. As tax time rolled around each year it was right in my face and we kept working toward the ten percent.
Another conversation we had that showed my dragging of feet was the pre vs post tax conversation. A technicality I was happy to hold on to as long as I could ignore my conscience. In the end the Holy Spirit of course won out and we decided to take our ten percent out before taxation😊.
“Honor the LORD from your wealth And from the first of all your produce; So your barns will be filled with plenty And your vats will overflow with new wine.”
Proverbs 3-9:10
What blessings came from giving ten percent of your first fruits?
Whenever you do anything in accordance with God’s will, you become more at peace, which is a huge blessing in itself. The focus on material growth began to shrink, and our lifestyle became less materialistic. There is a saying that, “Money burns a hole in your pocket.” By setting up some re-occurring payments, the money never really made it into our pocket, therefore reducing frivolous purchases. Living in the mindset of, “it’s all God’s anyway” brings much more freedom and opens wide the doors to the many ways to love.
How does trusting in the Lord with your finances play into family decisions?
Many things in faith are tied together; finances and family decisions are one of them. Careers and money needed to be weighed against family and faith. Around the time of our second child’s birth, we had to decide if we continued down the daycare path. Weighing our options, we decided that the cost and added stress of daycare were not worth it. This was definitely one of the hardest choices we had to make in our finances. My job didn’t pay particularly well at the time, so it was scary to move to one income. Rough numbers made it look like it could work, but there would be very little wiggle room if the car broke down or any other emergency. Even bigger was the sacrifice my wife made stepping back from a career she had invested six years of college into.
The fruits from this were felt immediately. Stress levels in the house went down as sick kids and appointments were much easier to deal with. We were blessed with kids that were happy, well-adjusted and did well in school. We’ll never know for sure since there was no control group, but I attribute much of that to my wonderful wife being the main teacher and example in their young lives. As he often does, the Lord validated our decision within a year through a raise at work that was unexpected. This took away some of the stress of our family’s financial situation. I’ve found money always seems to show up when it’s needed.
We saw this again, with the decision to send our kids to St. Ambrose, a fledgling Catholic school in the area. The tuition was significant, but it was very highly recommended by some of our friends. The school was still being established at the time and was operating out of a church parish center, but it was a great group of teachers and families. Now that our kids were in school Laura had just started working part-time at our parish and things financially were loosening up. Looking at the numbers her salary would just cover the tuition cost, putting us right back in that tight spot we were previously. We had to weigh how important a good and Catholic education was, against having money to start pursuing the “American Dream”. Of course the Holy Spirit won out again!
Again, shortly after the decision to send our daughter to Saint Ambrose, God blessed us with another promotion, which gave us a little more expendable income. The fruits from sending our children to Saint Ambrose were again abundant, and we knew we had made the right choice.
What did you have to give up in making those choices?
As we started entrusting our finances to God, it didn’t come without sacrifices. We don’t spend money like many of our friends do. We gave up eating out often, driving new cars, doing remodeling projects. Our cars on average are 10 years old and many of our Christmas presents, household and clothes purchases are thrifted, I buy discount groceries and we cook almost all of our meals. My friends buy lunch and I take leftovers. When we go on vacation, we pick cheaper options that we can drive to and take coolers on car trips.
What has tithing taught you?
Tithing has taught me that material things don’t often bring happiness and often just bring more clutter and things to worry about. I’ve also found that when I can line up my time, talent, and money it’s the most fulfilling. For example, I’m a technology guy so I love to buy and then install needed equipment for the church or school. I love to cook, so I buy ingredients to cook food to donate. I’ve often told my kids to judge activities by how you feel at the end. If you feel resentful or drained, then you might not be lining up well with God’s plan for you.
Giving helps me look out at the world through a different lens and to see the needs around me. My wife and I visit many people through our Saint Vincent de Paul Conference. I can’t imagine driving into impoverished neighborhoods with a new premium brand car. How can I spend that much money on something I don’t need as many of the people we visit have to take the bus to work or struggle to afford gas for their car.
What are you still learning as you continue to entrust your finances to God?
Two things have come to mind recently. I’ve been reflecting on the story of the widow’s mite. (Mark chapter 12). Right now, most of my giving is still out of our surplus. While money has been tight at times, we have never been seriously worried about how to make ends meet. Knowing that God has always provided in the past makes it much easier to not worry about giving money we don’t have. God always provides.
We’ve been blessed to secure enough for a modest retirement so I recently scaled back on our retirement savings. I feel like not scaling back would make me an irresponsible steward and I’d be “filling my barns.” One of my favorite scripture passages from Luke 12 is
“And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’
“Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’
“But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’ “This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.”
Luke 12: 16-21
I want to make sure I’m not this man!
What are some practical tips for tithing?
1) Support your Parish
I think it’s very important to understand that it is your job to support your parish, the basic needs of a building, heating, cooling, and having a pastor aren’t free, and we are so blessed in this country to have a Catholic church almost anywhere.
2)Donate to small local charities
I’m also a fan of donating to small local charities, particularly ones you can also spend your time and use your talent with. Large charities like CRS or Food for the Poor also do great work.
3) Use a Charity Checker
Check the charities you donate to with Charity Watch or other charity checkers and look for ones that have low operating costs.
4) Keep Your Pride in Check
As you increase your giving, make sure pride doesn’t get a foothold. The Lord also told us don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Nobody else needs to know how much you donated. Remember our time, talent and treasure all come from God, no matter which you are most abundant with, be generous and give the glory to God.
So there you have it, some words of wisdom and life experience from my father!
My challenge to you is to take a moment to reflect on your trust in God in the financial areas of your life. Where can you improve this, whether it’s a mindset change, or you need to start giving more. Generosity is not an option, but a command from God, so don’t brush over this lightly.
Praying for you always,
XOXO
Rory😊
What are your thoughts?