“But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.”
Ephesians 5:13
Hey hey hey!
When was the last time a little inconvenience upset you? Maybe it was traffic. Maybe the priest didn’t show up for the confession time he agreed to. Or maybe you got a huge pimple right before a date, and your roommate hopped in the shower just as you were reaching for a towel to jump in.
Feeling frustrated doesn’t automatically make you a bad Christian, but we do need to be careful with how we respond after that first intentional “grrr.”
We live in a culture obsessed with self-centered living.
“You deserve XYZ.”
“Put yourself first.”
“Do what makes you happy.”
So, when we experience those small inconveniences, it’s easy to slip into the mindset of: “I do not deserve this today,” and spiral into frustration or bitterness.
But Christ calls every person to:
“Deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me.” (Luke 9:23)
This is the mindset we’re called to adopt, even in little annoyances. Because when we don’t, it costs us greatly. When we believe we’re owed something, selfishness takes root. And when we’re focused on making our own experience as comfortable as possible, we suffer more.
We suffer from:
- Misery, because we believe life is unfair
- Spiritual dryness, because gratitude walks out the door
- Anxiety, because the more we focus on ourselves, the more overwhelmed we become
We know that true freedom comes from living for God rather than ourselves. But are we actually doing that?
Keep reading to uncover how deeply the culture’s selfishness may be affecting you, and how to detox.
Signs You’re Infected by the Culture of Selfishness
1. You’re constantly late for things
At the root of chronic lateness is the message: “I don’t care about your time, and I’m okay inconveniencing you to avoid inconveniencing myself.”
Yes, things come up and we lose track of time. That’s normal. But if your identity has become “the girl who’s always late,” it is time to shift that. I struggle with this too, but I’ve found that aiming to be five minutes early usually gets me there on time!
2. You prioritize comfort and convenience above all
It’s uncomfortable to go out of your way to talk to the new girl. It’s not convenient to call a struggling friend when your day is packed. But how many opportunities to love others have we missed because we were chasing comfort? We are God’s hands and feet, so let’s act like it.
3. You flake often and make lots of excuses.
The people I respect most are the ones who show up, no matter what. If they said they’d be at Bible study, they’ll be there, even after a chaotic day. Watching this has taught me: if you really want something to happen, you’ll make it happen. Their example has helped me see the selfishness in my own excuses.
4. You measure your worth by looks, productivity, or likes
How long do you spend editing photos before posting them? Does your outfit always have to be picture-perfect? You are a daughter of the King! It’s okay to want to look nice, but if Instagram takes over an hour just to pick and edit photos, it’s worth asking why. As I grew in confidence in God’s love for me, I stopped caring about looking perfect. I honestly can’t remember the last time I edited a photo for Instagram.
5. Your prayer life is centered around your wants
Do your prayers mostly sound like, “Help me, fix this, give me that”?
He’s God, not Santa Claus, so stop bringing your personal wish list to prayer and nothing else. A self-centered prayer life often reflects a self-centered mindset. If you struggle with this, make a list of people who you should be praying for on daily.
6. You avoid being challenged
Do you spend time with people who call you higher?
Do you avoid hard spiritual practices or hard truths of the Church because they’re uncomfortable?
Do you tell yourself, “I’m already good enough,” when you’re really just avoiding growth?
How to Detox: 5 Ways to Break Free
1. Rebuild silence with God
Ask Him to reveal your selfishness. I promise He will not disappoint.
Immerse yourself in Scripture and His truth. It’s in stillness that conviction often comes.
2. Fast from comfort
Following Jesus isn’t comfortable, and we need to practice discomfort, especially as Americans. This builds discipline and detachment, which help us say “no” to sin.
Try fasting from social media, desserts, coffee, or even… leggings (I know that’s a hard one.)
3. Practice hidden acts of service.
You’ll quickly notice how much of your “goodness” depends on praise.
Challenge yourself to serve without being seen.
Clean the kitchen when no one’s watching. Do the task no one wants. Leave a kind note. Real integrity is seen when no one is looking.
4. Get involved in ministry or mentoring.
If you struggle to give of yourself, this is a practical place to start. Whether it’s volunteering at your parish, joining a Bible study, or mentoring a younger girl, putting yourself at the service of others pulls you out of yourself and often gives you new perspectives.
5. Surround yourself with generous, holy people.
Virtue is built in community.
Spend time with people who push you to grow, who live with purpose, and who challenge your comfort zones. Learn through their example.
So Pretty Easy Right?
As you can probably tell, freedom isn’t a one-time decision; it’s a daily detox.
And while it might feel like you’re sacrificing an arm and a leg to live this way, the deep joy and freedom that come from becoming who God made you to be are one hundred percent worth it.
It won’t always be easy, but it will be good.
So join the challenge: detox from a culture that glorifies selfishness, and live in the freedom Christ offers.
And if you’re still not sure where selfishness is rooted in your life, start by asking the Lord:
“Jesus, what am I putting before You?”
What are your thoughts?